On Behalf of The American People

This weekend I fantasized about going to the NRA convention in Houston and shooting as many people as I could. I fantasized about going in there with an AR-15, and shooting the lobbyists in their backs, shooting the GOP politicians in their gaslighting mouths, shooting the millionaire and billionaire donors in their vital organs, and shooting the chairman, CEO, and president of the NRA in their throats. Just to prove a point. Just to make a statement. Just to be ironic. And when the police arrived – guaranteed quicker than they went into Robb Elementary School – and gunned me down, my final words as I went out in a blaze of glory would be “VOTE INDEPENDENT!”

You know. Just to prove a point.

I wonder, would that make me the “Good guy with a gun?” Or would it make me the “lunatic?”

At this point, it probably depends on who you ask.

Why am I saying this? Because it’s a lot healthier to talk these thoughts out than to act on them – right?

And, because for the NRA to still hold a convention in Houston this weekend only three days after 19 children and two adults were gunned down less than 300 miles away is disrespectful to human life.

And, because for any lawmaker or person in any position of power or authority to be continuing to advocate for the very organization that would benefit the most from assault rifles continuing to be legal is demonstrating through those actions that they care more about their own self-interests than actually doing their job and making this country a better, safer place to live. At this point, in my book, anybody who places more value on money or power than on the life of a ten-year-old child deserves to die.


Your thoughts and prayers were offered on June 20, 1994, when 28 people WHO WERE ALREADY IN A FUCKING HOSPITAL were shot with a MAK-90 assault rifle. This was just under three months before Bill Clinton signed into effect the Public Safety and Recreational Firearms Use Protection Act, banning assault weapons. Your thoughts and prayers were offered ten years and sixteen mass shootings later on December 8, 2004, when 12 people were shot at a fucking rock concert with a 9mm Beretta. This was only a couple months after the ban on assault weapons expired, and of course, was not reinstated.  Subsequently, your thoughts and prayers have been offered over each of the 93 other mass shootings that have occurred in the 18 years that have passed since the Federal Assault Weapons Ban expired. That’s 2,196 victims and their families you’ve thought about and prayed for over all these years.

All while not doing anything at all to stop it from happening.

But there weren’t 38 victims of the Uvalde Mass Shooting. What about Joe Garcia? Irma’s husband died of a broken heart two days later. What about their four children who are now orphaned because of this? What about Eva’s husband Ruiz and their daughter Adalynn and their three pets, Callie, Kane, and Koda? What about the parents and siblings and pets and friends of Makenna, Layla, Miranda, Nevaeh, Jose, Xavier, Tess, Rojelio, Ellie, Elianha, Annabelle, Jackie, Uziyah, Jayce, Maite, Jalah, Amerie, Alexandria, and Alithia? Are they not victims as well?                              

This is why I fantasized about going to the NRA convention in Houston this weekend and gunning down as many people as I could before committing suicide by cop.

Because on Friday I learned that not only did the husband of one of the teachers die of a broken heart, but the police officers who were on site stood by and did nothing while that boy was shooting and killing those children.

They did nothing. Not only did they stand around and do nothing, but they also stopped the parents from going in there to try to save their kids.

Serve the public trust? Nah.

Protect the innocent?  Nope.

Uphold the law? Negative.

They were told there was no active shooter. By the people getting the phone calls that there was an active shooter. They were told to stand down by Police Chief Peter Arredondo. My hands are shaking as I type this out because that man still has a job. My wife got fired from her job for missing too many days due to her disability but the man responsible for the deaths of 21 people still has his job.

Friday was the day that I also learned about the Federal Assault Weapons Ban. And not only how many loopholes it left, but that when it expired after only ten years, there was no reinstatement, no revisions, no amendments, nothing. This really tells me both Republicans and Democrats must want the mass shootings. What other reason could there be to not ban ASSAULT weapons? Money? Again. If you choose your own profit over the life of an innocent child, in my book you deserve to die.

That is the level of my anger over this. I learned all this over a text message conversation with my wife while I was at work. I ended up leaving early that day, because of how upset I was. When you’re powerless to do anything about it, anger can be a very debilitating thing. I left work early and started breaking down as I drove home. My wife was surprised and concerned when I walked through the door and asked what happened at work to make me leave early. She held me as I cried, as I shook with anger, as my whole body was wracked with sobs, as I repeated over and over, “HOW COULD YOU JUST STAND THERE AND DO NOTHING?!”

The last time I cried that hard was when I went to go grab the gun that I owned intending to blow my brains out, and saw that my wife had been paying close enough attention to the warning signs to get it out of the house before I could do anything. That was my last bottom, so to speak. Very soon after that, I had gotten rid of the toxic people in my life, got on antidepressants to fix the legitimate chemical imbalance I finally accepted I had, and started seeing a therapist for my abandonment, abuse, and neglect trauma.

Which is why I’m wondering why, after over 20 fucking years of the Great Gun Debate, you still aren’t talking about Mental Health Legislation. The argument, over and over again for the last twenty fucking years, has been that making stricter gun laws will not stop mass shootings. Never mind the scientific data from four different countries that literally proves gun legislation does in fact lower the incidence of mass shootings. After being gaslit over fucking masks I’m not going to try to reason with you.

You know what the definition of insanity is, right? Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

So, let’s try something else. Marco Rubio, you said, “The truth of the matter is these people are going to commit these horrifying crimes whether they have to use another weapon to do it. . . The issue is not the firearm. It’s the lunatic… how do we prevent these people how do we identify them and stop them before they act?”

That’s an excellent question, senator. I’m curious what you’re gonna come up with.

Mitch McConnell, you’re notorious for blocking any and all gun control legislation, saying flat out that there’s nothing that shows stricter gun laws do anything to stop a mass shooting. Why are you crying for the camera? Just be real and admit that when it comes down to getting millions of dollars donated to you by the NRA or passing legislation that has proven to work in other countries, you’re going to choose the money.

Ted Cruz, you said, “It’s far easier to slander one’s political adversaries and to demand that responsible citizens forfeit their constitutional rights than it is to examine the cultural sickness giving birth to unspeakable acts of evil. It’s far less comfortable to ask why despair and isolation and violent hatred are so prevalent in America.” You said this, and then you continued running your mouth for nine minutes creating more political divisions while making inaccurate and misleading claims before finally getting to a solution.  And your solution was: “Let’s focus on what works: stopping the bad guy. Imprisoning violent criminals and protecting our vulnerable.” In 2013, you introduced legislation called Grassley-Cruz. This bill was designed to “take guns out of the hands of felons and fugitives and those with serious mental illness.” Grassley-Cruz did three things. First, it would mandate that the Department of Justice conduct an audit of federal agencies to make sure that all felony convictions have been reported to the database. Second, it would create a gun crime task force at the Department of Justice specifically to prosecute felons or fugitives who try to buy firearms illegally. Third, Grassley-Cruz would have authorized 300 million dollars for school safety improvement grants to harden our schools. These were your solutions: Single point entry. Fire exits that only open out. At that single point of entry, we should have multiple armed police officers. Bulletproof doors and locking classroom doors.  And to hire law enforcement to protect our “most precious asset.” As if our children are fossil fuels. Not one mention of a metal detector.

But then you went on to blame Democrats for filibustering the bill and then cited an example of one mass shooter that got through because of it. But your statement about the Democrats blocking your bill is only half true. I wanted to fact-check your statement because of how full of shit you tend to be. So, I found a PolitiFact article that explained it. And once again, as always, it was the same old pre-pubescent excuse of “But they started it first!”

            And this is why both Republicans and Democrats are to blame for this senseless violence continuing. Watching you people run my country is like watching an alcoholic father and a codependent mother try to run a household. While neither of you can get your shit together, innocent children are getting caught in the crossfire.

            Donald Trump. You literally read off the names of the victims and then said that “before the sun had even set on the horrible day of tragedy that we witnessed, a now-familiar parade of cynical politicians seeking to exploit the tears of sobbing families to increase their own power… every time a disturbed or demented person commits such a hideous crime there’s always a grotesque effort by some in our society to use the suffering of others to advance their own extreme political agenda.” And I thought, oh my God, you’re finally becoming self-aware.

            But then you kept talking, as you normally do.

You said, “Even more repulsive is their rush to shift blame away from the villains who commit acts of mass violence and to place that blame onto the shoulders of millions of peaceful law-abiding citizens who belong to organizations such as our wonderful NRA.”

This tells me that you are clearly the type who, instead of actually listening during a conversation, all you do is wait to talk.

 But then you kept talking, as you normally do, and you finally, right at the end there, said something of real value. You said, “We need to drastically change our approach to mental health.”

I agree completely. But locking them away in mental hospitals won’t solve the problem.

How about this for new gun legislation:

You can own a gun after you go through a certified training course on how to safely use that gun, including all the known best practices. This will be a four-to-six-week course, the same length as a court-mandated anger management course.

And you can keep that gun as long as you go see a therapist once a week. Make it mandatory that if you want to own a firearm, you attend weekly mental health counseling. If you can mandate it once a law has been broken, such as the parenting class for the neglectful parent or the anger management class for the guy who beats up his wife, or the drug treatment program for the person arrested for a drug-related crime, or the sex offender treatment class registered sex offenders have to attend, then you can mandate mental health counseling as a preventative measure against mass shootings.

And there will be no “sunset provision” on these mandatory mental health counseling sessions. As long as you own that gun, you are to be attending weekly therapy sessions. Why? Because life fucking happens, doesn’t it?

Now, I can think of numerous reasons why most of you – both Democrats and Republicans – will say that won’t work. Or that it’s not feasible. Or that it will never get passed.

But I can only think of one reason why it would not get passed:

And that’s because those of you who would oppose it would do so because you know you wouldn’t get to keep your guns.

Because as far as I’m concerned, none of you are mentally competent enough to own a firearm.

Really, none of you are even fit to hold office.

This is evidenced in the way that you act. In the way that you refuse to take responsibility and constantly place blame on the other opposing party for nothing ever getting accomplished. In the way that you continue doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. In the way that you gaslight us by talking about protecting our freedom while taking away our rights. In the way you lie straight to our faces and tell us there’s no systemic racism in this country. In the way that you say, “Something must be done! Just not that. That won’t work.” In the way that you place more value on money than on human life. In the way that you say, “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun,” while AN ENTIRE TEAM OF “GOOD GUYS WITH GUNS DID NOTHING WHILE AN 18-YEAR-OLD BOY SHOT 19 CHILDREN TO DEATH.

So yes, fuck your prayers, and fuck your thoughts.  

Ted Cruz, you’re absolutely right. We must not abandon the constitution. Now is not the time to yield to panic or intimidation or fear. Now is not the time for lies. Now is not the time for empty political gestures. Now is the time for unity. Now is the time for love and now is the time for action. And to do everything humanly possible to protect our children and to protect our families.

That is why, on behalf of the American people, I say you’re fired. All of you. All of you politicians, and all of you corporate executive billionaires and millionaires. The constitution says, “Of the People, By the People, and For the People.” And I think it’s time we go ahead and start making that a reality again.

None of you are doing your jobs. You’ve got no business keeping them.

Just to reiterate: My wife got fired for missing too much work because of her disability. But the police officers and the Chief of police who stood around and did fucking nothing while 19 children were being murdered still have their jobs. I can’t afford to buy another gun now that I’m on antidepressants. I can barely afford to pay for my antidepressants. I can’t even afford to continue seeing my therapist right now because of the inflation caused by your fucking incompetence.

Meanwhile, somebody bought Andy Warhol’s painting of Marilyn Monroe for 195 million dollars. 

This means that somebody had 195 MILLION DOLLARS to spend and instead of using it to make mental health care more affordable AND accessible or to lobby for legislation on making this place happier and safer for our children, they bought a fucking painting of Marilyn Monroe. She had mental health issues herself and took her own life. But honoring her memory by DOING SOMETHING TO HELP IMPROVE THE MENTAL HEALTH OF OUR NATION is too radical of an idea?

Meanwhile, Jeff Bezos is having the Dutch dismantle a historic bridge so he can get his 450 MILLION DOLLAR YACHT out to sea, AS WELL AS spending 5.5 BILLION DOLLARS for a 4-minute space ride.

Meanwhile, Elon Musk is buying Twitter – on a whim – for 44 BILLION DOLLARS.

            Meanwhile, there’s a shortage of baby formula that’s putting babies in the hospital.  

            Meanwhile, 38 million Americans are literally going hungry, living in poverty. Including 12 million children.

            Meanwhile, I’m not the only American who can’t afford mental health services.

            And studies have already shown that there is in fact a direct connection between poverty and mental illness.

            Meanwhile, literally, everyone is saying, “Oh my God this is horrible. Something definitely needs to be done about this.”

            But nothing is getting done.

            Well, fuck that.

            Here’s the deal:

If you make enough money to be able to take care of your living expenses AND save enough for another year’s salary, and you’re NOT using it to try and make this world a better place, then you are absolutely part of the problem.

If you are in a position to be passing legislation that will make this country happier and healthier and safer for our children but you’re too busy trying to take the power away from your opposing party while blaming them for all your problems, then you are absolutely part of the problem.

You have ALL MADE THE “WRONG DECISION.” Time and time again have you made “the wrong decision.” Every time you chose to block legislation that would have protected the innocent, you made “the wrong decision.” Every time you chose to fund fracking instead of renewable energy, you made “the wrong decision.” Every time you chose to filibuster when you could have been making progress, you made “the wrong decision.” Every time you shot down Universal Healthcare by calling it “socialism” as if the next step was Nazi Germany, you were making “the wrong decision.” Every time you denied that the Holocaust really happened, you made the wrong decision. Every time you chose to stand in the way of women’s reproductive rights while you yourself only had a penis you were making “the wrong decision.” Every time your responded to Black Lives Matter with All Lives Matter or Blue Lives Matter, you were making the wrong decision. Every time you chose to send money to another country while your own people were suffering, you made “the wrong decision.” Every time you forced a woman to give birth to a child she can’t afford while refusing to help the children already alive and stranded in foster care you made the “wrong decision.” Every time you chose to not raise the minimum wage so that woman could afford to be a mother you made “the wrong decision.” Creating jobs is insufficient. Making more money off someone’s efforts than they do isn’t benefiting them. It’s gaslighting them. Taking one-third of their life and not paying them enough to do anything with the other two-thirds is stealing. Stealing is illegal. Therefore, you need to be in jail.

You see, it wasn’t just once that you’ve made “the wrong decision.” It’s time and time again. And more than once constitutes either insanity, maliciousness, or some form of mental, intellectual, or developmental disability. Either way, you are unfit to be in your position. You do not deserve to have your jobs. You do not deserve to have your money. And you certainly do not deserve to have your jobs that are paid for with our money.

The police officers who DID NOTHING while 19 children were murdered are just as culpable as the shooter himself. The Chief of police is just as culpable. Each and every one of you lawmakers is just as culpable. By legal definition, you’ve aided and abetted the commission of these crimes. Every billionaire in America is just as culpable. Because you’ve had the power in your hands to make the changes necessary and you too have done nothing. You’ve had the money to fund mental health resources, but you haven’t. You’ve had the money to improve security at public schools, but you haven’t. You’ve had the money to push new legislation through on not just gun control, but mental health resources, but you haven’t. The health care industry is just as culpable. Because you know full well how much you overcharge people to get the health care they need. You make it unaffordable. So, this too is your fault. The blood is on ALL OF your hands. What are we paying you for? You don’t deserve to have your job. You don’t do it. You don’t deserve to have your money. You don’t use it to do any good in this world. And with as many people whose deaths you’re responsible for, I’m sure in at least one state, you legally don’t even deserve to live. So why are you here? What are you even doing? We have the government to protect us, and you’re not protecting us, so what are we paying you for? What do we have you for?

We have no use for you.

You’re literally killing your future taxpayers and you’re too stupid to realize it.

Is that why you’re trying to outlaw abortion? To make sure you still have enough taxpayers later on?

Because if that’s the case, not only are you fucking stupid, but you’re also narcissistic.

This is how the American Revolution started.

Just look at the Intolerable Acts of 1774 and the Boston Massacre to see how history is repeating itself.

This is how the French Revolution started. “Not only were the royal coffers depleted, but two decades of poor harvests, drought, cattle disease, and skyrocketing bread prices had kindled unrest among peasants and the urban poor. Many expressed their desperation and resentment toward a regime that imposed heavy taxes—yet failed to provide any relief—by rioting, looting, and striking.” (History.com Nov. 9, 2009)

Read about the causes of revolution and then look around you and tell me history is not repeating itself. Read about the Estate System in France and tell me that doesn’t sound like America in the 21st Century.  

We ousted all of you and started our government fresh again because it wasn’t working anymore.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. So, here’s what I propose:

If one percent of the world’s population owns 99% of the world’s resources, this sounds like a hostage situation to me. And how do we deal with the hostage-takers? By cutting off resources.

Step one, we’re going to freeze your bank accounts. Not just the millionaires and billionaires among you, but all of you politicians as well. Left-wing AND right-wing. We’re gonna put a chokehold on you just like you’ve done to us for so long.

Step two, we’re cutting off all services to your home. Water, gas, electricity, cell phone service, cable, internet, and trash.

Yes. Trash was my first idea. Before even freezing your bank accounts. But then I thought about Joe Garcia, who died of a broken heart. So, I got more ideas. We’re gonna stop picking up your trash for you. It’s your garbage. Now you get to live with it. Do not take it into a poorer neighborhood and dump it, that’s illegal and we’ll prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law.

Step three, all of your insurance coverage will be canceled. You will no longer have health insurance, auto insurance, life insurance, or home insurance. As I wrote that last sentence, I must admit, my mind flashed to The Purge movies. But then my mental health isn’t top-notch right now. I wonder why.

Here’s what will happen next. Universal Healthcare. Paid for by our tax dollars. More healthcare facilities with more access to mental health services. Also paid for by our tax dollars. Colleges, universities, and trade schools will be free. Again, paid for by our tax dollars. Police officers will now get better training, for longer. More mental healthcare workers will be trained and put on the police force as first responders to crisis situations. Affordable housing will be built on your golf courses. Electric vehicles will be mass-produced for less money.  More wind and solar power will be installed. Our country’s infrastructure will be improved, once and for all. We will have better security at our schools. And baby formula factories that know how to fucking clean up after themselves.

And you will either reap the benefits of a healing planet and a healing nation, or you will be put on your multi-billion-dollar spaceship and cast out of our solar system.

Those of you who have read this far either think I’m an entertaining lunatic or you feel the same way I do. To those of you who think I’m just an entertaining lunatic, I’m happy to help. At least I distracted you from your own problems for a moment.

But to those of you who feel the same way I do, let’s fucking do this.  

Freezing the bank accounts of all the politicians and millionaires and billionaires will take one hell of a coordinated effort of hacking, something I have zero knowledge or experience on. Anonymous, maybe this is something you’d like to handle. I’m not interested in stealing their money. I just want to freeze their bank accounts. I’ve had both happen, and honestly, it’s more painful to see it there and not be able to touch it than it is to just see all of it gone.

As for cutting off all services like trash and electricity, the best I can think of is a combination of more computer hacking – again, Anonymous, we could use your help here – and also a committed and coordinated effort on the part of every trash truck driver, power company technician and service rep in the country. I’ve got no idea how to do this either. But I’m sure somebody does.

Really, the best and most I can offer are my words to encourage and inspire all of you. When I say I’m too broke right now to even be able to afford the copay on my therapy appointments I’m not exaggerating. I’ve got a wife and kid and a bunch of animals to take care of and they are my top priority, even above myself. But I’ve got ideas, as you can see. Give me 100,000 dollars and I’ll do more with that to improve this world than any of these corporate pigs have done with $100,000,000.

In the meantime, you’ve got my support. And I’ll just keep writing like I’m running out of time.

Because, after all, I am just a misfit philosopher.

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